Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac: REVIEW

**FINAL RATING: 1.50 STARS**

Where to begin? 

First off, I suppose I should say that I wanted to read this book the moment I laid eyes on it in the bookstore. I bought it that same day and squealed as I took it home. Yes, I was that eager to read it. 

Before I could do that, I had to get through City of Glass, City of Fallen Angels, Clockwork Angel, Paranormalcy, and Supernaturally. Each of these books was exquisite and original, so maybe that's why this book sucked so much. 

Oh, yes, and this review will contain major spoilers. Consider yourself warned. 

WTF. This was not a love story. 

Onto to my actual review… I'll come back to that later. 

THE HEROINE 
Naomi was whiny, annoying, and selfish. No matter how hard I tried to like her, I just couldn't. all she does the entire book is whine about her freaking amnesia. WE GET IT. YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY. Now get over it and move on with your life. Sure, it can be difficult to accept that you've forgotten things, but you don't have to be so whiny about it; it only makes it worse. Naomi was also so, so stupid. Like, ridiculously stupid. She couldn't seem to decide what to do about ANYTHING. Because of her amnesia. Riiiight. And her voice is irritating, but I'll come to that later. 

THE LOVE INTERESTS 
ACE 
Ace was actually not so bad. Sure, he tries annoying hard to get Naomi back into bed, which I find somewhat disturbing, but at least he's pretty nice. Naomi can't remember why she fell in love with him until she gets her memory back, but even then it feels like she's fuzzy on the subject. He's polite and actually pretty sweet. If not for him being so lusty, I might've actually wanted him to stay with Naomi. Except, I wouldn't wish that on him. Although, he has no real depth. He's a very shallow character, like most of them are. 
JAMES 
James is my favorite character and the only person even remotely interesting in this entire book. Sure, he has problems, some which are never really made clear, but there are people like that in the world. One of my ex-boyfriends, for example, went to jail once. For what? I don't know, and now I never will. But I don't doubt for a second that he has a good heart. A person doesn't have to be flawless in order to be safe and loving. James actually has feelings, and conflict, and an actual freaking plot line. I love that he isn't perfect, and I love that Zevin was at least not afraid to make his character just the slightest bit dangerous. 
WILL 
Will annoyed the freaking hell out of me. He's so uncomprehending of the difficulties of amnesia. This might seem to conflict with what I said earlier about how Naomi needs to get over her amnesia, but that's not what I mean. If Naomi should've been less whiny, Will should've realized that amnesia means you can't remember things. so if she doesn't remember what her nickname for your was, give the girl a freaking break! Will was so annoying selfish and indecisive. He'd welcome Naomi back, then give her the cold shoulder, and then suddenly feel like talking to her again. I say: What. The. Hell. 

THE ROMANCE 
Like I said before, this isn't a love story. It's true that Naomi and James fall in love, and then Naomi and Will, but there's no real substance, at least to the second romance. Naomi and James fall in love over her lost memory, but once it returns there's nothing to hold them together. What kind of love is that? One based off of lies and forgotten things? Naomi believes she loves him, but she isn't exactly going to win the Nobel Peace Prize in Physics anytime soon, or ever. I don't believe there was even a real love there at all, just kisses and lust and shallow, shallow physicality. You can't have a love story without love. 
And if the loves story Naomi refers to is the one with her and Will rather than her and James? Um, can you say cliché? Really? Ending up with the best friend? Isn't that sooriginal? It might've been sweet, except Will was so cruel to Naomi at times that I couldn't fathom how he claims he loves her, or why she would ever love him. 

THE WRITING 
The novel is written from Naomi's point of view, and is annoying as hell. Her voice isn't anything better than her personality. She either describes too much or too little, and it's so frustrating. Her voice is one of the main reasons I disliked her so much. If this novel had been told from third-person point-of-view and I hadn't had to hear Naomi whine every thirty seconds, I might've actually enjoyed this book more. Maybe it would've gotten an extra half-star. I really can't say much more here without launching into a speech to rival William Henry Harrison's inauguration address. 

(Look it up. The guy wrote like people breathe.) 

THE ENDING 
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!? There is no freaking closure! Maybe Zevin thought she had enough conclusion, but I tell you she did not. Half of the plot lines are left open-ended, and there were so many loose ends. Everything is not okay just because you say it is!!!You need answers, and solutions. I don't care if Naomi's amnesia is gone; that does not automatically make everything freaking better. In order for a stand-alone book (or the last book in a series) to end well, you have to have freaking resolution! This entire book felt pointless and I honestly have no clue what story Zevin was trying to tell or even what point exactly she wanted to make. All I got out of this book was fluff, a headache, and a ton of wasted time. But she and Will are together! So that's, like,soooooooo good! 

Not. 

There's more I want to say, but I've completely lost the energy to write more right now with this angry rant. To be continued.