...in our evening paper, Expressen. It´s an interview with a Swedish artist called Miss Li and she talks about really good stuff that I know well. The pressure on yourself going on stage, the pressure to always look happy, the difficulties of judging yourself to hard and the harder side of being an artist. And about feeling that you want to give up. I really love that she speaks about these things, cause it´s as she says: you´re support to be happy and thankful if you are an artist...
She did this interview due to her being in a Swedish TV-show at the moment where a couple of famous Swedish artists have a week in the Swedish island, Gotland, and interpret each others songs and talk about artist life and so on. Here´s a clip from this season:
(Miss Li is the girl with green-white dress)
And here´s a video with Miss Li:
Here you go, my translation (done freely):
Miss Li: "I think I am useless"
Miss Li suffers from self-loathing, she tells in tonights episode of "Så mycket Bättre" while her tears are falling.
The singers only moment without anxiety, according to herself, is on stage.
- I often think I am totally useless. Sometimes I feel like just giving up on everything, she says.
In "Så mycket bättre" she´s gotten lots of credit for her strong and often emotional interpretations of the other artists songs. At the surface she seems to be happy and content.
But in tonight´s episode, the viewers and the other artists get to know another side of Muss Li, or Linda Carlsson which is her real name. The 30 year old rising star tells openly about her self-loathing and her tears are falling around the dinner table.
The emotions have grown since her artist life started appr. 6 years ago.
- People expect me to be happy, I can't live up to that. I am not like that, she says when Expressen talks to her.
Only on stage she can get away from those emotions.
"Happy when I am on stage"
- I am happy when I am on stage and that´s the only moment I can rest from my anxiety. It´s a free zone for me, she says.
Her self loath is strong and comes from her being hard in her judging of herself.
- I often think I am useless. I fight with that up until the last second before I go up on stage. There have been many times when I say I never will be able to manage to get up on stage again. I judge myself to hard, she says.
Close to giving up
She has been close to giving up several times.
- Sometimes I just feel that I´ll give it up, I can't do this life. But then I continue, cause I am not competent in any other area, and write lyrics, she says.
At the same time the life as an artist is far from glamorous and are tearing both on body and soul, she says.
- It´s a hard way of living. It might seem glamorous when we are eating good food in Gotland, but I don't think I´ve had a single glamorous moment during these six years of being an artist. You struggle constantly and sometimes you wonder if this is how it´s meant to be. But you keep struggling, Miss Li says.
Said no three times
To participate in a show called "Så mycket bättre" with up to 2 million viewers were for a long time impossible. She said no three times before she changed her mind for this season.
- You get judged and that´s why I always try to keep myself on the side, as much as possible. I judge myself so hard so I can't take to be judged by a lot of other people also, she says.