hey, how has the start of the New Years treated you? have you started your resolutions, started with life changes, thought about what you should be grateful for and what should be cut off from your life?
I went to the Neurologist yesterday and well. I basically admitted that I am so used to being in pain that I don't realize that I have a headache until they get worse. SO we're going to get blood work done and tests run so we can figure out why I am in pain. he prescribed some meds for me as well which may knock me on my rear for a while.
My husband and I have been struggling financially and we're at the point of probably going into foreclosure on a rental property. we're going through things right now that wow, we feel so alone and abandoned by God at times. Not to mention the family...they're all so far away and have their own things to worry about so we just smile and put our best foot forward so we don't worry anyone. But behind the smiles as gorgeous as they are (LOL) is so much pain and uncertainty. Pain because I am always almost stubborn in my belief that God will find a way or lead us to the answer and so far whatever we try just backfires and throws us in a deeper hole.
I try not to blame anyone for our problems because we were the ones who decided to go ahead with buying this property, but between work and kids i am drained and don't go to church much anymore. well, that more due to work....BUT when I did go i would feel so overwhelmed when I went and would cry and cry because I really missed being in church and feeling that sweet feeling of the Lord being around me as we worshiped.
the last time i didn't feel a thing and that scares me. Besides all that now I had to deal with drama that left me so angry and upset. Last night I was so tired and was fighting sleep because i didn't want to go to bed too early...so I opened up the bible and started to read. and you know, God spoke to my heart. That was sooo sweet and as I closed the bible and headed to my bedroom, my phone chirped. I should've just ignored it like I wanted to so I could go to sleep but NOoooooo concern over a late night text made me look and it was my brother telling me I should apologize to his wife. WHAAAAAAAAAT?????!!!!!!!OMG I got so angry because he brought up an incident that I thought was squashed a while ago. SO I called my mom to see WTH he was talking about.
well, long story short I'm accused of gossiping. :eyeroll: I SO do not have time for any of this. My name gets put in more junk again, I can't sleep AGAIN because I'm aggravated on top of stress and my decision is to just turn my back and walk away.
sometimes staying quiet takes a lot more strength
